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[22 Apr 2007|10:06pm] |
well lets see things have been well going up and down for me lately..
me and this guy named will have dated for 6 months...6 long and agonozing months..i thought i had found love..but then it turned out not being much of anything really..i got knocked up but then lost my baby within the first tri mester..ya..it was horrible..but dont pity me..i pity myself..
well i moved out of my home in fort lauderdale and i moved to davie with my sister and her boyfriend..so im on the look out for someone new..or at least trying to..
see its pretty weird ppl say that im taking this a tad to calmly then i really should..no im not sitting in a corner wasting away my days crying on what couldve been but im not..
im living my life the way i want it to be lived..to the fullest
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[25 Nov 2006|07:22pm] |
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mood |
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 calm |
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well lets see..
things have been the same since forever..
i got a raise at work on wed :woot woot: for me..
i'm trying to get my car and license in order but my dad is making up all these stupid ass excuses he's bugging me about getting it..but when i tell him what i need to do he's like no you have to do this first..i swear i just want to punch him in the head no LIE! but ya anyway...
i'm going out with a guy named will..i honestly think my worst catch ever!..i'll just leave it at that..
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[22 Oct 2006|10:18pm] |
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mood |
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 bored |
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so is it just me..
or am i living in a reality show?
starring me and an all starcast called my friends
who most likely could be a bunch of paid actors pretending to be my friends
you know..
the other day david im'd me..
i ask him how he's doing etc etc
and whats he doing home on a saturday..
fast forward a few im's later
we percieve this cue as him actually needing a companion..
how i had an urge to tell him it's his fault he left me and how i would actually be with him at
this moment if he hadn't been such an asshole..
but i just burn him and say..sorry to hear that but i gotta go out with my homegirl nicole..sorry
to hear you have nothing to do..but feel free to call me if your that desperate for human
communication..end of im..
am i saint or what?
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[04 Oct 2006|07:43pm] |
theres nobody for me..simple as that..
i let love come to me and all it did was bitch slap me in the face..
i don't wana be hurt anymore..
boy: i don't think im a good boyfriend
girl: yes you are! your a great boyfriend!
boy: no, i don't like the responsibility and the commitment
girl: long pause....so what?..your breaking up with me..
boy: its up to you...
girl: no i dont want you to break up with me..
boy: i'll ttyl abou this..
girl: ok..ignored
later that night...
phone rings..
girl: sucks up her tears and answers..Hello?
boy: hey..
girl: hey...so can u plz explain this to me plz..in detail..
boy: i just don't think im ready to be in a relationship
girl: was it something i did or said? my mood swing yesterday perhaps?
boy: no no it wasn't any of that..i just cant be in a relationship right now..
girl: im your first girlfriend..why do you think your not ready..i mean you've never had one so what makes you think that this can't be?
boy: my heart isn't in the right place right now..
LONG LONG SILENCE
girl: feels another cry coming on..i g2g..goodbye forever
boy: don't say that..i feel bad for leaving you like this
girl: interupts boy..o0 YOU FEEL BAD? how long have you been waiting to tell me this..you break up with me in a txt message and dont have the balls to tell me in my face..i mean we were fine what couldve gone wrong..
boy: we can still be friends..
girl: o0 fuck you! i don't wana be your friend..it'll hurt to much to see you with another girl and to see you happy with her..and not me..screw that stupid ass movie line..o let's be friends shit becuz i have enough friends!! i wanted something more..and i thought you did too..but i guess not i think your to infatuated with your fuckin hand to even accept the real thing..
boy: its not that i wanted to be with you..but i don't know it seemed as if you pushed me to be in a relationship..
girl: i pushed you? w/e i didnt a fuckin gun 2 ur head..i just asked u if u wanted to or not..but thats your fault not mine..
boy: i should've said no..
girl: yea u should've..i cant believe this..u tell ur family about me..but than leave me..without any explanation??
boy:silent..im sorry..
girl: no asshole your gonna be sorry..
THE END
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[24 Aug 2006|08:29pm] |
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mood |
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 sick |
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things seem to be doing good yay!
work is a mother fucker and i hate waking up so damn early!! its a pain..but at least i get a shitload of overtime..
theres alot of drama going on at my job mostly against my aunt..see my friends and i are pissed that she gets paid more than we do for..well..NOTHING..let me clarify..we all have chores to do on a daily basis from cleaning the bathroom to tidying up the "gym" and so on and so fourth well my friend Eva told me that my aunt gets money every time someone cleans w/e all she has to do is...inspect it and tell the big boss its done..how ghey right? but eh thats how the workplace is espicially daycares..
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[17 Aug 2006|09:05pm] |
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mood |
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 creative |
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emotional rollercoaster is what i'll call it
after you get off all you wana do is puke and cry for your mommy
yeah..that's what it is...
there are those awesome points during the "ride" of your life
and than the really shitty spins and turns into dark tunnels of the unforetold moments
thats why you always have to listen to the warnings and go by what your mind and heart tell you keeping your hands and feet inside the vehicle during the bumpy and also thrilling ride..
but in the end its worth it..when it ends and comes to a complete stop..
and the only thing you have left is conquered fear and a photographic moment etched in your mind forever to remain in time..
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[02 Aug 2006|09:56pm] |
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mood |
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 chipper |
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hello all,
well i had the shittiest day at work..
just stupid drama..blah im starting to hate my job..but i need it right now in order to get the things i can..but anywho..
i'm going to a show with ami/sharkie w/e you wanna call her..BUT BE NICE! lol her friend or her last crush named Alex is inviting us to go see him hehe :) can't wait!! theyre pretty good shiz..GRINDCORE HARDCORE METAL lol sexynesses lol but ya..i need to look prettyful..thank god i went shopping and actually have WEARABLE clothes..i'll be rocking my piercings and my tat soon to be TAT'S people were right..once you get one..you want more! but ya i cant tell my mom about the other ones im getting..she thinks im going to stop..HA im not..but anywho..im bored now..peace and grease for now
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[01 Aug 2006|09:20pm] |
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mood |
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 bitchy |
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murder me
bury me in the ashes of time..
my patience wears thin like my liner..
my heart sings of pain and anger
mixed into one beverage of agony
he thinks what he has done is over
fuck that..this shit has just begun
scream the cries of your heveanly mother
bleed to me your dreams
yearn for the release of your pathetic soul
and i might possibly just let go
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[30 Jul 2006|08:43pm] |
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mood |
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calm |
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i think my turtle is suicidal lol
but eh..i got a 200 dollar bonus from my job..hehe that's what hard work and dedication gets you along with the fact that I spent almost my entire check at the mall and such im a baller lol jay kay..but i bought a ton of shit though..and i still got cash to burn
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[25 Jul 2006|09:02pm] |
i have a son!
his name is Spike Vicious Toledo-Pau
he was born on July 23, 2006
he weighs 2 1/2 ounces
and he is currently 4 inches in diameter
I love my baby boy!!
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[21 Jul 2006|09:23pm] |
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mood |
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 blah |
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im having these crazy ass negative feelings that honestly won't go away..i was fine for one minute and than really depressed the next..im lost..and i have no clue wat im going to do..things are once again starting to jump on me all at once..its crazy..
family issues..
and the classic one..LOVE issues..
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[16 Jul 2006|10:10pm] |
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mood |
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 depressed |
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to speak without thinking is like shooting without aiming..
both of our intentions were not viewed the same..i spoke to soon
good times never last forever
i want to die a million deaths so i can get rid of this pain
it's called heartbreak..i wouldn't even want to wish it upon my enemies
i regret every word that i said..anything i ever did..
rewind reality and warn myself of the danger that lies ahead..
what is it about my life that i can't get any satisfaction for no longer than a day to a week..
i jumped in head first..suffered the consequences..and im hating every minute of it..
now if you'll excuse me..i got a bottle of alcohol and a razorblade..wana see me do a trick?..
now my wrist is fine..next it bleeds..
"a day in which the sun would take over her artifical life"
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| my first tattoo |
[13 Jul 2006|08:29pm] |
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mood |
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 flirty |
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i got it last night..
laughs..fun..and just bliss...
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[11 Jul 2006|09:50pm] |
i basically screamed i LOVE YOU..and he didn't hear it..
ce la vi...how i want him so
shatteredstars66:haha your such a dork..but i feel special though
aridkillzone: thats cause you are..not special ed..just special..
shatteredstars66:..i love you..your so silly lmao
aridkillzone: I WENT TO GO SEE MUDVAYNE IN CONCERT TOO
shatteredstars66: how was that???
etc etc..random moments made possible by him..lol
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[09 Jul 2006|11:03pm] |
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mood |
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 drained |
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well..
im here sitting in my dark room with my HIM sweater on listening to Vanessa Carlton
i had a blast of a weekend..i spent the weekend at my friend's dorm which was amazingly fun got drunk and met even more new people and made even cooler friend's i love this..its great o0 for the record trying to fit two people in a twin bed is FUN! lol ahem...so yeah... XD
i mean its sad to say i've lost touch with a majority of my friend's from school..but hey its what expected i drop them lines when i can..i get a few "where ya been's" and "now that your a grad you can't talk to me anymore" kinda comments..not my fault i dont comment them...they appear out of the blue..i HATE that..but face it..we ALL have different destinies..so its expected..
but i saw pirates of the caribbean 2 dead man's chest...HOLY FUCK i think im becoming a pirate..ARGH! LOL just kidding..but really though..i've bought some merch on pc2 like a poster of sexy johnny depp with him glowing in the sunrise..BEAUTIFUL lol
i think things are becoming better finally..
there's still tension in casa de priscilla..but it'll end when i move out..im moving out when my friend crystal gets her apt in orlando..yeap..so when im done with school here..im moving to orlando and going to UCF..and yeah it'll work..if not..o well
but my love life right now is existing..hitting the dating thing again..
also..i think my battle with the whole "scene" fashion has taken over me..yes thats right i wear my skirt with black leggings and cute black and white flats with a skull adorning the sides..ya pathetic..i swore on my soul i wouldn't do it..but i tried it out..and it came out decent on me..i get some compliments here and there..but hey we all gotta thank tori..i believe she started the trend..its catching on like wildfire
o0..im actually looking thinner THANK GOD not bikini ready YET...but im barely there lol shit im always on the go and doing stuff so its like i can't be out of shape..along with the fact i barely eat..like when i get home..i dont eat dinner because its past 6 30pm..not good for you..so i cut breakfest and dinner out..lunch is basically all i eat with that new stuff nestea came out with white tea its so0o0o0 good for you hehe :) love it..well..im going to bed..work in the morning..night night sweet dreams..
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| SIGH |
[05 Jul 2006|08:33pm] |
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mood |
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complacent |
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"Baby there is no reason for me to be send you this but i wanted to let you know you were right i miss you. Your calls your lips even doe it was only one time i fucked up and im sorry its not that i want you to forgive me i just wanted you to know your special and i am a dumb ass for takin you for granted baby this might not mean much to you but I Love You y te quiero sorry one million times for fucking it up!!!!! "
JUST WHEN I THOUGHT THINGS WERE ENDING BETWEEN US HE HAS TO COME BACK WITH THIS CRAP...
can you guess who it's from?
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| HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME! sweet 18 |
[01 Jul 2006|08:47pm] |
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mood |
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 bouncy |
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well my birthday is coming to a close..
i hung out with peepz went to the movies
went to dinner had fun..this has been a great birthday thus far
i didnt need to have a party..i had a ton of fun with friends..
and for those of my 'other' friends who didn't even bother to shout me a happy birthday..i pity you..i at least tried for u when it was your birthday and i didnt get the same treatment..but if it were your 'other' friends theyre fukin birthday is a national holiday..w/e...
im too P-I-M-P rockin skulls here and there practically everywhere
im number one dammit and i OWN this bitch
don't need you and your lameness because im legal and well..others aren't..how do you like that??
over and out captain....
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